Hojo's Love
by Calm77
Summary: It's not always good to be loved... Warped drabble. Be warned.Chpt 2 is more about Sephiroth.
1. Chapter 1

_Hojo's Love_

Disclaimer: Not mine. Want a pat on the head?

A/N: cough This one's rather...warped...Don't ask which f-ed up corner of my head it came from.

Some say one can only love another as much as one has _been_ loved. Others say only as much as one loves oneself. Even more believe there's a thin line between love and hate. Sometimes the line blurs, emotions twisting and intertwining into a grotesque parody.

No matter the cause the result is _never_ pretty.

Crimes of passion are common, _tame_ examples of what mankind is capable of. When combined with other mental imbalances it can lead to horrifying results.

Each of us is born with the desire to be loved, to be _needed _in some manner. In some the desire is absolute – you _must_ need _me_ and_ no other._

Sephiroth had never had a _normal_ childhood. Hojo was never a _normal_ father. Mayhaps he did not _know _how to love his son. Mayhaps he did not know how to love _himself._ But he knew how to be _needed_ absolutely. Thus he taught his son that absolute care, the removal of all other caretakers which was Hojo's _love_.

Children _want_ to love their parents. _Need _to. It's not a matter of choice. Even those children who grow to hate their parents still love them _at the exact same time and with identical intensity. _Maybe this can warp the child's understanding of love. Perhaps they simply lack the key to understanding altogether.

Yet Hoj _did_ love his son, as much as he was _able._ The specimen was _perfect_ in his eyes. His _fond_ eyes. But the specimen also took Lucrecia away, caused _her_ to leave.

Half the Planet would stare in disbelief to hear Hojo utter such a sentiment. The other half would faint. Could the man _not see_ what _he had done_ to drive her away?

Of course he could not. Hojo understood _need_ not _love._ He had arranged for the specimen to be taken care of – his care! – so _she_ _could not become dependant on it_, had removed her other support Vincent Valentine (He'd showed the man his appreciation for his care though, it was an _honor_ to be apart of Hojo's research!). Had isolated her.

It was _how he showed he cared._

So Hojo was completely unprepared for when she ran. He _could _not understand _why._

Just as he could not understand how the little blond specimen his son had been so fond of didn't thrive when he gave it special attention. When he removed _all_ its cares and dealt with it personally. Isolated it specially, unlike the other, the one who annoyed him.

So he became even more bitter when Specimen C began to faulter. Another who rejected, no _betrayed,_ him. Another _failure._

It angered him. _Why _could no one understand? Why did they always try to _leave_?

No matter. He _would _find the perfect one eventually.

So he assured himself.

- There might be chpt 2 on this one...review so I know if you want it.


	2. Ramifications

Chapter II

_Ramifications_

Disclaimer - Not. Mine. K?

A/N: It came with the Hojo muse. Its rather ugly, but its...there...

Growing up Hojo's son was not easy. The strange dichotomy of love and hate, control and dependence would have warped the strongest psyche. Yes, his father _loved_ him but his father also _hated_ him. Hojo demanded his son need _only_ him, but Hojo _needed_ the complete dependence in his own way.

Never let it be said Hojo did not show Sephiroth his love. Neither let it be said such love was not abuse.

It was at Hojo's knee Sephiroth learned of 'love' and of 'betrayal'. While the good Professor could not bear to slander the name of Lucrecia, he would _never_ let his _prize specimen_ out into the harsh world unwarned.

Unable to bear the thought of Lucrecia, Hojo created for his son the perfect mother. One who was completely at Hojo's mercy, dependant wholly on him. Unable to leave. JENOVA. Sephiroth would hear only of his _loving_ mother.

Hojo's form of 'love' suited ShinRa well. It meant one as dangerous as Sephiroth could be isolated _and_ not resentful. To Sephiroth it wa affection – the only kind he had ever known.

It was during the Wutai War Sephiroth experienced the _other_ side of Hojo's twisted equation. For many to depend upon _him alone._

The power was intoxicating for one who had never _had _it before, but the brew was even more potent for the simple reason _it was the only way Sephiroth knew to show he cared._ ShinRa would never realize their Ice General _loved_ his army. _His _troops who depended on _him alone_.

Who idolized him alone.

But he too would learn of 'betrayal' as Hojo had warned.

The mission to Nibelheim _should_ have been another reinforcement of Sephiroth's devotion. The fierce, young, handsome, and _oh-so-helpless_ blond trooper was of particular interest as _he_ was the type of human who _could easily_ become the defenceless thing for those like Sephiroth and Hojo to 'dote' on. To 'protect'. Someone without a place.

Instead he discovered the unthinkable. The isolation _hadn't _been a symbol of ShinRa's _care_ but their _fear. _His _helpless, devoted _mother was still alive – she _needed_ him as ShinRa never would.

It came as a shock when the _helpless_ trooper he had been so 'fond' of proved his undoing. The traitor.

He would not forget. But still he let the child live until it tried again.

But as Hojo before him, Sephiroth would remain _fond_ of the helpless one. He would make the trooper _pay_ – would _leave him_ unprotected. Then with force he would remove _everything _else. Things the boy valued.

The others had _no right_. The boy was _his_, belonged to him. Sephiroth _would_ ensure he was the blond's _everything_ in the end.

He was angry, but he was still _fond_.

Just as Hojo had been.

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Hopefully the Hojo!Muse won't visit again, he's rather disturbing. Hope it "strikes" you, but I don't think it'll ever be _likable._ Review?


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